Have you ever noticed when you get in an argument with a loved one and it feels like they go straight for the jugular? Of course your natural reaction is to return the favor in kind, yes? I’ll show you why it is they are able to so easily trigger you, and how you can turn the tables when you apply the same skills in your business (or your relationship if you choose)
Which of these statements carry more gravity?
"It was thoughtful when you brought me coffee"
"Your behavior in bringing me coffee is thoughtful"
"You are so capable of being thoughtful"
"It is clear to me you believe in being thoughtful"
"It’s obvious to me how much you value being thoughtful and generous with your actions"
"You are a thoughtful person"
If it isn’t so easy to tell the difference, watch the negative version of this:
"It was rude of you to no-show our meeting"
"Your behavior is rude"
"You are certainly capable of being rude"
"Apparently you believe being rude is important"
"I guess being rude is one of your highest values"
"You are a rude"
As we become specific with the way we communicate with those around, we can turn up and down the level of gravity of their response. Can you think of a time you applied too much or too little pressure?
Have you ever noticed in your sales process that what the customers say they want isn’t what they need? Do you make adjustments for this? I’m not advocating that we put the old “bait and switch” in, but as business owner’s do we give them what they want?
My kids would NEVER willingly eat something healthy just because it was good for them, even though I could cite a list of a hundred benefits of a healthy diet. What they will ALWAYS do is eat the appropriate balanced diet if I tell them there is ice cream at the end. In our businesses we oftentimes have to dangle the carrot out in front of the customers. I already know I am going to feed them the vegetables, I just might have to dangle the desert.
For instance, if you were looking to join The Summit Chase, I might dangle 50% more customers, or a 25% increase to your bottom line. And you would get that for sure- but what I am not going to tell you today is that we have to restructure your offers, value stack your services, delegate more effectively, build a team and manage your processes more efficiently (those might sound like vegetables to you, but once you eat them you can have your ice cream). And I am certainly not going to tell you that we are going to have to restructure your MIND first.
Henry Ford once said “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.”
P.S. Doors are opening to TSC soon
If you want the details and early bird information, send me a DM here.
A few years ago I was pissed- a lot. I would get angry when people were late to meetings, get angry when something didn’t go my way, or get angry when,
What I thought I needed was something to change in my environment. So, I turned to a little meditation, a little alcohol, or anything that might put a bandaid on my frustration. If people would just accept a little more responsibility, if things would just fall a little more in my favor- all would be right with the world. What I didn’t realize is where I wasn’t being fully responsible for my actions.
I told someone “I carry myself at an 8 out of 10 on the stress level, but it’s ok because I manage it well."
I absolutely truly believed it, and even found anecdotes in my experience that convinced me that I actually managed it well. It wasn’t until someone offered me a little journaling exercise to get real with myself. The process was based on Carl Jeung’s active imagination exercise.
What I didn’t need was another bandaid, what I did need was a mechanism to do the work to figure out where that anger was coming from. And when I did the work at got very clear about where those frustrations were originating- the rest became easy peasy.
There are two things that entrepreneurs fear the most- want to guess what they are?